Remembering Shanghai

A few weeks ago, we traveled to Lancaster County to an anniversary party for my Uncle Ronnie and Aunt Bonnie. We had an interesting interaction which came about because Faith happened to notice a Chinese woman on the other side of the room. Now, this, of course, happens periodically...in the grocery store, in the mall, etc, and her reaction is always the same...she yells loudly, "Hey, there's someone from China!"

I, of course, correct her and explain that this is rude, but in the back of my mind, I always figure that if anyone ever turns and expects to be offended...when they view their offender, all hard feelings will fade away. So, she yelled as usual. But we did not get to walk over and introduce ourselves at the moment.

When the party was over, I had an opportunity to introduce myself to this woman and ask where she was from. She was from Shanghai. She had come to the U.S. as a young adult and was now married and living in Lancaster County. I quickly asked if she would meet and talk to my daughter. I brought Faith to her and the woman's face just lit up. She was so excited and began chattering away to Faith in Chinese. Now, we've been through this scenario before, like the time they spoke to her at the Chinese restaurant. In the past, it has always made her angry when someone spoke to her in Chinese. But this time....this time was very different. For the first time, Faith did not resist. I could see a determined look on her face. She was listening very hard to see if she could understand anything...

She did not.

For the first time, she did not turn away from the sound. She listened...for the first time. Faith said, "When I think about it really hard and am remembering...it just reminds me that she seems like Deeya (her nanny in China)."

The woman and I talked about how sad it is to lose a language. She told me how much she loved seeing Faith and that when she sees someone from China she feels an instant bond to them.

When she told me she was from Shanghai, and I thought about how far away from home she was...I was so glad to be able to tell her that I had been there, that I'd seen her city, that I knew where she was from. Later in the car, Matthew and I discussed our impression of Shanghai...like a city of the future, with its massive stacked highways, highrise buildings as far as the eye can see, solid cement tan-grey landscape, grey sky, and not a speck of bare ground to be seen. And I pictured her there. Oh, I saw such a small fraction, but I cannot express how it made me feel, like in some strange way I felt that perhaps it warmed a spot in her heart to know that I'd seen her Shanghai.

And so we talked. For a long time.

I told her some of our funny China stories...like when a waitress told me, "Your daughter trying to tell you she has to potty." or When we were walking down the street in Guangzhou and Faith said something to some passers-by on the street. They laughed, we had no idea what she told them, and so we assumed she had told them how strange we were."

She thought the stories were so funny.

Then the conversation turned more serious.

She talked about how glad she is to be here. She talked about things that are so different in America. She talked about how she was amazed by how families in America want children and want to take care of them...how they want to take in these children that the Chinese have pushed away...and how she was amazed by that.

She cried when she said it.

And then of course I cried too.

Moments like these are such an incredible blessing, and then I think about how many times, we come away from a brief encounter with someone else...just a brief encounter and yet there was something in it so deep and magical.

It was one of those moments.