The Unveiling of Super Mom

A few photos from Chemistry Labs at our house last week.


I have decided to dedicate this post to those households in which the ratio of kids to mom is no greater than 2 to 1. You know, places where the children wear matching socks, wear proper coats when it is cold out, and where the mom never forgets to feed them. I think about these households when every room becomes so trampled with people (and people's "stuff") that I find myself sighing in bewilderment, wondering how it all happened.

So, I've decided to compile a list of "Helpful Tips for the Downtrodden Mom" which stem directly from the great wisdom I have gained along the way.
Here they are.

1. If you allow your little girls to wear their ballet tu-tu's each and every day, it does help to lighten the laundry burden just a bit. For example, one would never allow their little one to wear the same outfit every day for an entire week without washing it. People would start to wonder, and relatives would start to question. It just would not do. But, a leotard and tu-tu will not raise the same doubts in your loved ones. "Oh, she just insists on wearing that thing every day," you will say. And all your loved ones will think, "Oh, how darling."

2. When the leotard and tu-tu begin to shred and fall apart and your little one insists on wearing them outside to scooter where she will be in clear view of the neighbors, be sure her coat is long enough to cover things that just should not be seen.

3. Anytime you leave the house, be advised that something will go wrong while you are gone, that way there is no undue stress due to shock. This shock can also be avoided by immediately locking yourself in the master bath for at least five minutes upon re-entering the house....thus providing a protective barrier where the children can "yell" their issues through the door while you are safely locked away on the other side.

4. The rationale that "All is well even though the kids had no breakfast before church, because the teacher will probably give them candy in their class" greatly expedites Sunday morning departures.

5. If you sit across the breakfast bar from a little one that has the ability to down an entire bowl of cereal and piece of toast with out ever once breaking the dead stare that they've got fixed on your face...introduce them to the joys of reading cereal boxes.

6. Realize that all around, there are children who:

...are out of clean undies because their mother forgot to run a load of whites

...headed out without brushing their teeth because their mother forgot about dental hygiene

...can no longer wear their favorite outfit because their mother spilled bleach all over it
and then tactfully lost it

...tell your friends that they've never worn anything that didn't belong to someone before
them

They are all around you, these children,...these just happen to be yours.

7. When all else fails, grab a big handful of chocolate chips, throw the bag quickly back into it's hiding space before kids ask you if they may have some too, lock yourself safely away in the master bath once again, and....Enjoy!



NOW, here's a story that gets right to the heart of homeschooling.

First there was this child



with whom this history buff mom had countless discussions of the French Revolution, the Byzantine Empire, the Great Compromise, etc...

Then came...well...everyone else

to whom I teach the same history topics over and over till I'm blue in the face, and at the end of an absolutely enthralling recounting of Bartholomew Diaz's accidental rounding of the "Cape of Storms", my children lovingly look at me and ask, "Are you through, Mother?"

I feel at times like a few of my offspring have tucked away, what I call, a "historical tossed salad". All the names and events, but mixed together. We have had the most bizarrely fragmented historical discussions at times. I so longingly look back and wish to have recorded them for posterity.

Recorded this one last week:


(you really do have to know a bit of history to truly appreciate this dialog or you won't be able to follow it)

Prior to reading the poem "Old Ironsides" by Oliver Wendell Holmes I gave a short talk on the poem's purpose and meaning. I explained how Holmes wrote this poem as an attempt to save the Constitution, a ship from the War of 1812, from being scrapped. Then, as I usually do due to my love of history, I broke into a little re-cap of the War of 1812, much to the disliking of one child in particular (captain of the "tossed salad") who said very disgustedly in an effort to get me to stop,

--------
Child 1: "I know, I know, Mother," that's when they fired the shot heard round the world.

Me: "No," I said, "That was the Revolution. We are talking about the War of 1812. Remember, the British burned the White House! Who was someone we think of as a heroine of the War of 1812? Remember her husband sent her a message to get out because the British were headed that way. But, before she fled, she quickly saved a few original artifacts?"

Child 1 sarcastically: "Yeah, and then she ran up the steps and hung the lanterns."

Me: "No! that was the Revolution!"

Child 1: "I know, I know...and Paul Bunyan and all."

Me: "No! That was Paul Revere. Now, think, who was this president's wife. Remember you've seen something she saved?"

Child 2: "Oh, yeah, she cut that big painting of George Washington out of the frame."

Me: "Yes, what was her name?"

Child 2: "Harriet Truman?"

Child 1 correcting Child 2: "No, no, Harriet Truman was that lady on the Underground 'Tunnel'."


------

Aforementioned First Child, straight 'A' history student, finds the historical tossed salad quite entertaining...and quite puzzling, as do I.

Ok, so this has been a tough school week thus far...as was last week.
It's funny, just a few weeks back, I was thinking several things in conjunction with one another. First, that I remembered that insane, stretched-too-thin, in need of super mom meds feeling that I used to always have. And I thought about how I really hadn't felt that way much anymore regarding school. Second, I thought about all the wonderful school things we used to do that with more children, busier schedules, older mom (did I say that!) have slipped a bit. I was feeling a bit 'un-diligent' in my teaching as of late. Well, Matthew's getting a job that takes him away from a few hours of school here and there recently forced me to make a new school schedule....and to go back to being a better planner. So, unlinke the earlier part of this year, we have now been cracking the books till everything is comepletely done each day.
And with it came....you guessed it...my old stretched-too-thin friend. So I've been feeling the ratio heavily this week, the 7others-in-the-house/to/1mom ratio. Need to find the balance between too easy-going and too overkill. One would think after 14 years of homeschooling I'd have all that ironed out....Nahhhh...I'm a slow learner :)

But I'm becoming a fast learner on this...

the anticipation of getting away for an entire week with my dear husband.
And not just anywhere.

But here...



Mitch's company is sending him to Paris and guess who gets to go along. He was a little disappointed in my initial excitement level, which reflected my sadness about not seeing the kiddos for a week.

But, one successful shopping trip for a required long black evening gown, and the arrival of airline tickets via fed ex, have brought about a spike in my excitement, and today found me daydreaming about sitting on a plane for seven straight hours...all the while concentrating on no one but myself. Ahhhh smile :)

Au revoir !!